
Ancient Roman Dogtag,
Inscription Reads: “Hold me if I am lost and return me to my master Viventius on the estate of Callistus”
(via vikingbitch)

Mother’s Day scavenger hunt. My mom discovered I had put googly eyes all around her house about an hour before the rest of the family was scheduled to show up.
Walmart deli in Flower Mound, TX.
My neighbor just came out to her husband. They have been married for fifteen years and have three daughters. She has been in love with the same woman for five years but never once touched her skin. Never had the courage to explore the terrain of her sex. Terrified of what the neighbors would think.
Her neighbors are a rowdy house of queers women. They light bonfires and erect giant maypoles to celebrate the fertility of spring. They occasionally kiss each other. They sleep on the roof. They want a chicken coop but roosters are noisy and messy and illegal in the city. The neighbors might call the code enforcer.
The code enforcer lives across the street. He eats pastrami sandwiches every day and loves Bon Jovi. His wife is a dominatrix that he refers to as Mistress. She mows the lawn wearing black leather. Their boyfriend sleeps in the garage and works as a hair stylist. If he told his parents about the living arrangement he would be disowned.
His parents are retired and enjoy gardening and horseback riding. Recently, the mother has been wearing leopard print aprons and lace panties when she cooks. His father likes to have sex with her against the stove. She wants to scream until her grandmother’s china shatters in the cabinet. She doesn’t. She is terrified of what the neighbors will think.
” —Lauren Zuniga, Circle Drive (via un-gendered)(via altarflame)
(Source: buckin-love, via crystalzelda)
I don’t understand why finding thin people attractive is “normal” but finding fat people attractive is “a fetish”
(via babyslime)
Best thing ever.
It’s like watching the Matrix, but with kittens.
(Source: eduardolion, via memewhore)